Holiday Survival Guide: Staying Grounded Around Family

It’s the holiday season, and with that comes colder weather, decorations, and, of course, more family time. While that can mean connection, shared traditions, and new memories… it can also mean stepping back into old dynamics, emotional triggers, and expectations that feel heavier this time of year. 

The holidays tend to bring everyone into the same space—physically and emotionally—and that alone can stir things up. After weeks of independence and personal growth at college, you are suddenly brought back to your childhood patterns. Quite literally, you are probably sleeping in your childhood bedroom.

However, it is possible to embrace your growth and stay grounded when returning home for the holidays. By reminding yourself of the steps below, you can maintain your inner peace and enjoy the holidays to their fullest potential: 

1. Name Your Needs

   Before you arrive home, to yourself, list what is important to you. This step in being proactive allows you to focus on yourself and keep that as a priority.

   
   

2. Meet Your Nervous System

   Your body will respond will sometimes react before you realize it–this is your nervous system at work. It will often times all back into familiar dynamics, and a process called co-regulation, when others’ nervous systems influence yours. Co-regulation can amplify a collective stress response so it is important to acknowledge this might happen ahead of time.

   
   

3. Take A Moment

   Once you arrive home, give yourself space to breathe and remind yourself of your above needs. Pausing before entering a chaotic or emotional space can ground you and provide you with a clear mind. This can be the preventive step to heightening emotions. 

   
   

4. Set Boundaries

   When communicating with family or loved ones, be clear on what your boundaries and important needs are. You cannot control how well they react to them or acknowledge them, but you can control how you advocate for yourself. You have the power to decide what you do or do not want to engage with.

   
   

5. Be Proactive, Instead of Reactive

   If emotions start to escalate, make choices that align with Step 1–your needs. You might feel yourself slipping into a reactive behavior, but by deciding your boundaries and needs beforehand, you can often avoid arguments and de-escalate a situation. 

Remember, you have grown and made changes! Even if you revert to former patterns, that is okay–you are only human. It is about the small steps you take every day to listen to yourself and keep trying.

Happy Holidays from Aligned Counseling